‘Community Spread’ Episode 4, Season Two: Choosing Reproductive Rights (Featuring Angela Choberka)
Kevin and Angela Choberka discuss just how extreme the state legislature is on abortion and why it’s important to have a pro-choice voice like hers in the House.
OPINION/PODCAST
Episode 4, Season Two: Choosing Reproductive Rights (Featuring Angela Choberka)
Currently, women in Utah can receive an abortion up to 18 weeks. However, this is only because Utah courts have put a temporary stay on one of the most extreme anti-abortion laws in the country that the Utah Legislature passed in 2020. In this episode, Kevin and Angela Choberka discuss just how extreme the state legislature is on abortion and why it’s important to have a pro-choice voice like hers in the House.
Listen here.Episode 4 opening Monologue
By Kevin Lundell
I’m a pro-choice adoptive dad — Here’s why.
In 2020 the Utah State Legislature passed one of the strictest anti-abortion laws in the country. This law was a total ban on abortion with few exceptions. During the debate of this bill there was a common refrain that was often repeated by those who want to limit women's reproductive choices that goes something like, well … adoption is always an option! The floor sponsor of the bill, Representative Lisonbee said, “There are many of our colleagues who assert that they are pro-choice but there are many choices available to a woman. One of the choices that is available is adoption. So often we don’t talk about the harms that can come from abortion to women.”
As an adoptive dad to two beautiful kids I know a thing or two about adoption and it too can be the cause of many harms that are not often talked about.
In 2012 a woman handed her baby to me and my wife, and whispered through unimaginable pain, “Take care of my baby.”
We all broke inside that day. We viscerally felt her heartache and in the same instant experienced the overwhelming elation of becoming a parent. It was a terrible miracle that made me a dad.
Adoption has literally given me life. A life that loves me, and a love inside me that I didn’t know existed. But adoption is also trauma, and because of that trauma adoption should not be a substitute for abortion and should always be a woman’s choice free of coercion.
A few years ago my son’s birth mom spoke to that trauma on social media. I read her words while snuggling her incredible little 7-year-old boy.
She said, “I was so afraid that I wouldn’t be allowed to be with my family eternally, that I wouldn’t be loved as a sister or daughter if I chose to be a parent. I was an unwed Mormon teenager with a pregnant belly. Here I am almost 9 years since the beginning of that initial pregnancy with ptsd, anxiety, and depression.”
As I was reading, my son was watching “Home Alone 2” with his sister, both of them belly laughing at the hilarity of the wet bandits getting smacked in the face with a bag of cement. I had tears welling up in my eyes but I continued on.
“I didn’t even trust myself, I doubted my ability as a parent, because I handed my first baby willingly over to strangers.”
Both of our kids have deep and profound connections to their birth moms. They have one on one dates together. They attend birthdays, soccer games, and school plays when they can. They facetime, share phone calls, and have healthy happy relationships. However, even at 10 and 12 years old our kids feel a tangible sense of loss that they vocalize in quiet moments of reflection: “Dad why don’t I live with my birth mom?” This is the bright side of adoption and it’s still shrouded in pain and trauma.
As I continued to read my son’s birth mom’s words I felt her pain as she said, “I bonded with a baby. I felt their kicks, I helped name them, I listened to their heartbeat, I took care of myself for that baby. I labored for that baby. I tore literal flesh for that baby. I gave that baby everything, then I took my firstborn baby away from everything they knew and put them into the arms of strangers. Adoption is not trauma free. Even with open adoptions. Stop using “adoption is an option” as if it’s a trauma free justification to take women’s rights away.”
I’ve wrestled for years with the fact that I was the benefactor of a deeply spiritually coercive system that led to the violent trauma of a young woman and simultaneously gave me the greatest joy I’ll ever know, parenthood. It’s the kind of dissonance that is never settled, and in some way is left beautifully unresolved. A woman chose adoption and I became a parent. But given the trauma associated with even the best adoption experiences that choice should always be her’s to make, not the state‘s. It is currently the position of the Supreme Court Of The United States, and the Utah State Legislature, that they get to impose the trauma of adoption if a pregnant woman doesn’t want to parent. State enforced trauma is morally wrong in every way and we should all be outraged even if adoption changed your life forever.
On the pod today we have Angela Choberka. Angela is currently serving on Ogden City Council and is also running to be the next representative for House District 9. In her professional life Angela is the Program Manager for SelectHealth, where she leads efforts to address health disparities for caregivers, patients, and communities. Her role involves strategic planning, continuous improvement, and education on health disparities. This is just one of the reasons she is so passionate about women’s reproductive rights and why I wanted to have her on the show today.
We want to invite you to join us at the "We Have the Power" Rally, taking place on Saturday, October 12th, at noon, on the Utah State Capitol South Steps! This rally is organized by Green Wave Utah, a grassroots movement that educates and advocates for reproductive rights and bodily autonomy as we help keep Reproductive Rights & Bodily Autonomy front and center before the election and hear candidates and local voices talk about preserving our rights to Reproductive Healthcare through using our power as Utah voters!!
So join me and the 614 productions crew as we work together to help accomplish that goal. Again that’s Saturday, October 12th at noon, on the Utah State Capitol south steps. Hope to see you there!
Listen to “Community Spread” Episode 4, Season Two here or an your favorite podcast streaming service.