Whatever you’re feeling this holiday season, from one involuntary grief expert to another, I’m sending so much love.

By Kari Harbath

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Hey, Ogdenite. Just your fellow Ogdenite realist here to ask you one simple question: are you feeling sad this holiday season?

Because yep. Me too. 

We’re just a day before that holiday of complexity and multitudes: Thanksgiving. A day of dark historical truths, forced gratitude when not everyone feels it, loneliness, and family-oriented gatherings that aren’t always picture-perfect.

So, as we enter the holidays, here are a few things that I’ve learned consistently help me navigate my own griefey, hard, lonely feelings this time of year:

Check out from the noise. This is the biggest helper for me. Sign off from social media, or only engage when you’re enjoying it. (And turn off all notifications! Although I think everyone should do that year-round.)

Nature church. My mom, Kim McCorkle Harbath, was notorious for her nature church adventures. The goal in nature church is to get outside in a peaceful setting for just a moment. You don’t have to go hard! Just breathe in some fresh air and remind yourself you’re still alive. If you’re looking for a perfect local spot, feeding cracked corn (skip the bread!) to the ducks at Beus Pond is a perfect way to take a breather. Want to travel a bit further? Head on up to Green Pond and take a small hike, greet a moose, and enjoy the beautiful mountain air that Ogden is known for. Just remember: if it’s hard this year, the holidays will soon pass. You’re almost there.

Stay real. Don’t force anything. Set boundaries where they’re needed, and don’t feel obligated to keep up with tradition for tradition’s sake. Space and alone time is important, too. Allow yourself grace - we’re only human.

Do something for only YOU. And I really mean this. What do I do for me? I’ll run the Ogden River Parkway with my daughter, Sloan. We’ll grab a tea from Kaffe Merc and take off on a mountain podcast drive. I’ll catch up on Bachelor in Paradise and eat cookies from When Paige Bakes. And, in my more productive moments, I’ll work on personal projects that are close to my heart. (Like this article for the Ogdenite.)

Ramp up therapy. Schedule more therapy sessions if you think you might need them and be ready for emergent needs in mental health support: both human and medicine stuff. There’s no shame in this, only good. In fact, the more support you receive - the more present you can be for your loved ones, too. It’s a win-win for everyone. You deserve this love and support, and so does your fam (blood and chosen) who loves you right back.

Prep a mind trick. Now this one is a bit more intense - but bear with me! During times I thought I wouldn’t survive, I learned to literally count the seconds on a clock or name ten candy bars as a way to re-center myself and my mind. I still do this today when I’m confronted with a trigger from past traumas. These mind tricks work, and can help us navigate and breathe through our darkest times where sheer survival is the goal.

Join the local fam. I know I’m a tiny bit biased, but the Ogden community is truly something else. There’s the Santa Run and Holiday Electric Light Parade happening on Friday, Ogden’s own Community Christmas in just a couple weeks, and lots of love, music, and togetherness being shared at our local coffee shops and breweries in the in-between. (Be sure to check the Goings On list when you feel like you need a night out!)

For those who know griefey life all too well - you know some days you need the day to rest, binge-watch your favorite show, and sip tea. Other days you need to be out in the community with your people. And both are just valid and perfect.

Whatever you’re feeling this holiday season, from one involuntary grief expert to another, I’m sending so much love. I know it’s not always easy or fun, trust me on that one.

We’ll make it through together. The Ogden community is cool that way.